is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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