Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Houston, we have a squirter
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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