Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
