New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want a musical about memes.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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