Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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