You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
