quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
