Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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