She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
