In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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