New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
