Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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