I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
