i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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