operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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