Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
