So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
