We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
