I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize