Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
