You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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