I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
