do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize