Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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