I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize