Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
