This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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