The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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