i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
