I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize