I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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