you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
