Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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