dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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