why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
