He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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