he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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