did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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