On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
