girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
