Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The ass gains better be worth it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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