If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
