so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize