The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
