; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
