if you like me you must not know who I am
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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