evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
