I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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