dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
