i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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