2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
