im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
