I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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