my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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