So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
