apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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