I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
