Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
do herpes really smell.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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