Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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