i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
