We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
