Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
