tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
