So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
