Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
