If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My bed smells like the plague
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize