I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
