I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
