Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
