So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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