She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
