Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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